Design a Baby
DESIGN A BABY
featuring:
Patti Kim as Sandra
Wade Fennig as Louis
and
Stephen LeBail as the Doctor
Tags: baby, doctor, funny video, patti kim, sketch comedy, stephen lebail, wade fennig
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The Bob and Andrew Show - The Drunken Phone Call
This is Bob’s friend Stephen Bomberger. Yes, he is every bit as cool as he looks in this photo. Steve has a propensity for calling Bob when drunk. Listen to one of those phone calls in this very podcast.
In other news, Bob’s got a hernia. He’s going to have to undergo surgery to repair it. He and Andrew discuss the ins and outs of getting a good surgeon. How/why doctors specialize in the things they specialize in. The jurisdicions of the body and other medical related things.
Just click on the little play button below to listen:
Or DOWNLOAD it and listen to it on your Ipod.
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, doctor, hernia, liam crosbie, mark cohn, medicine, Podcast, star wars, stephen bomberger, surgeon, walking in memphis
Filed under Podcast | 8 Comments »
Party Chat Procedure
The party chat is an art unto itself. When you’re at parties it’s a given fact that you’re going to end up talking to someone you barely know. Many times these people will be boring and idiotic. Other times they might actually be able to carry on a half decently intelligent conversation. Still other times, if you’re extremely lucky, you might run into a convicted fellon or a former drug runner - but these instances are rare. Most times though you’ll be stuck, screaming in your head for whoever you’re conversing with to “SHUT THE HELL UP!!!” or wondering if you have enough milk at home for your cereal in the morning. That’s where I come in. I have developed a strategy for dealing with just these kinds of encounters and I share this information with you now. Prepare to get wise.
Party Talk Strategy #1: Control the conversation.
There are a lot of pedantic jerks at parties. People are selfish. They like to talk about themselves, how they paint on weekends, how they’re writing a novel but just can’t seem to work up the courage to ’share’ themselves so intimately on the page or how they went rock climbing in Gibraltar on their trip to Asia. The first thing you have to do is lull them into a false sense of security by acting like you’re really interested in what they’re saying. Then start to drop comments into the conversation that will take it in a more interesting direction. When they mention how they like to start off with some cardio before they move into weight training at the gym say something like “Oh, tell me about it! My personal trainer, Linda, tries to get me to do that but we just always end up having sex in the change room.” Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, lying is key to good party conversation.
Tags: All Blogs, bob woolsey, chat, guide, party
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Late
LATE
featuring:
Wade Fennig as Henry
Stephen LeBail as Jorge
Patti Kim as Cassandra
with
Andrew Menzies & Steve Blouin as the Investors
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, business, funny, late, patti kim, sketch comedy, stephen lebail, steve blouin, Videos
Filed under Videos | 9 Comments »
What goes here I ask of you.
I was hammering a nail into the wall and accidentally hit myself in the temple with the claw end of the tool. Before seeking medical attention I sat down to write this blog.
I could do without cats. I don’t like how they just roam the streets, jumping off ledges and trees. Apparently lots of people enjoy the company of cats. I can’t understand why, unless all of those people are retarded or blind.. Cats don’t come when you call them, they don‘t wag their tails, and their claws can easily draw blood: yeah, sign me up for one of those death machines, please!
The only real positive when comparing cats to dogs is that cats poop in a box. Dogs kind of poop everywhere, though I can forgive that because of the loyalty the average hound displays. I can approach any dog, stray or leashed, and I know that dog will appreciate a good ear rub. Cats are lazy and stupid.
Tags: andrew menzies, ferret, hammer, organs
Filed under All Blogs, Andrew's Blog | 6 Comments »
Idiot Doesn’t Know About the Holocaust
Sorry about the lighting folks - we’re writers, not… guys who know how to light stuff?
IDIOT DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST
featuring:
Andrew Menzies as Miles
Bob Woolsey as Gustaf
Wade Fennig as Cornelius
And now you see why we use actors.
Tags: All Videos, andrew menzies, bob woolsey, germany, hitler, holocaust, idiot, lest we forget, november 11, poppy, remembrace day, sketch comedy, wade fennig, world war II
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Get fit - Have fun.
We’re living in a fitness obsessed society. Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod called it. Everywhere you look people are running, jogging, doing yoga and various other ‘healthy’ activities. Which is strange because is seems like more people are fat these days than ever before. If you ask me, looking after your body is overrated. I mean, the only real benefit to keeping fit is that it allows you to get laid on a regular basis more easily. If your face is ugly, the least you can do is have abs. But lets face it, it’s really hard to get in shape. Especially if you haven’t exactly been keeping up with your crunches lately (or for the past decade). All this begs the question - if being fit is so hard to achieve, then why are you even trying to do it in the first place?!
Whenever life hands you a challenge like this the first thing you should do is look for the best way to cheat. Luckily, cheating is the one thing you can count on the public school system to teach children. Of course, in this case, the best way to cheat is to APPEAR like you’re in shape when in reality you spend your evening cuddled up on the couch with a bag of Cheetos.
Tags: All Blogs, bob woolsey, fitness, gym, hal johnson, joanne mcleod, workout
Filed under All Blogs, Bob's Blog | 4 Comments »
The Launch Party
Last Saturday, friend of bobandandrew.com and consummate gentleman Stephen Lebail hosted a launch party for the very website you are browsing.
With a cooler full of hamburger and a boat filled with booze (seriously), Bob, Andrew and friends partied like it was 1989.
Luckily, Bob brought his digital camera; and though the quality of the photos taken slowly degenerated over the course of the evening’s drinking events, we have some of the highlights here for those who missed out.
Join Bob and Andrew`s Facebook Group for more photos.
-Bob and Andrew
Tags: hamburgers, party time, stephen lebail
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The Nose Job
THE NOSE JOB
featuring:
Trystan Carter as Doc
and
Lauren Martin as Mrs Johnston
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, lauren martin, nose job, sketch, stephen lebail, trystan carter, Videos
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You Can’t Tie This Blog Down!
Now, I know I will end up homeless one day for sure. I make little money, consider myself an artist and take note of all cozy looking spaces on my walk to work. Long have I known of the harsh cruelties of this world as I live in Vancouver - which has the most homeless people of all the cities in the world (per capita). It’s a fact. Everyday I see how they live, trashcan to trashcan, begging for change or whatever else they can get. Quite frankly, it’s depressing. Not so much for the fact that they are homeless or that they are hooked on drugs or that they haven’t showered since 1993 or that they all seem to be able to look after dogs and not themselves - but rather for the fact that they don’t have to live this way.
Take 60s and 70s rock music. All the answers to these people’s problems lie there. When one finds themselves in a homeless state what one needs to do is RAMBLE. This takes what should be a hopeless and forlorn state of being and makes it cool and exciting. If you can work GAMBLING into your life at this point that’s even better. But lets stick with the particulars of rambling for now.
Tags: All Blogs, bob dylan, bob woolsey, clint eastwood, harrison ford, lynyrd skynyrd, rambler, the band
Filed under Bob's Blog | 5 Comments »
How Often Do You Fall Down?
HOW OFTEN DO YOU FALL DOWN?
featuring:
Aaron Brooks as Gary
and
Blair Hayashi as Donald
Tags: aaron brooks, andrew menzies, blair hayashi, bob woolsey, Comedy, funny, short film, sketch, sketch comedy, Videos
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The Bob and Andrew Show: Killing a Man & Travel
As respectable citizens, Bob and Andrew know what it’s like to deal with day to day crime and criminals. Bob, however, has dreams of rising above this. Andrew points out the pit falls. Also in this episode, Bob and Andrew discuss what it might take to kill a man, or perhaps incapacitate him. Then finally there’s a segment about places to go in the world. Tune in and get all the insider information on these many diversified subjects.
Or DOWNLOAD it and listen to it on your Ipod.
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, Clone, John Malkovich, of mice and men, Podcast
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Pigeon Technology
The alley behind my apartment building houses many wonders: an overflowing garbage bin that smells like Burger King, an abandoned bicycle that’s been chained to the fence since I moved in two years ago, and a covered car park infested with pigeons.
I don’t hate pigeons. I like their shape. If the mood struck, I feel I could easily grab a pigeon with one hand. Birds in general, I like. Sometimes their light chirping sounds of music; a nice accent to a walk through the park on a warm summer‘s eve. Sure they poo everywhere, and have the ability to poo on you from the clouds above, but that’s fair trade for the shape and acoustics.
I didn’t notice the pigeons in the car park until a few weeks ago. While on my way to the local convenience store, several pigeons swooped down, startled no doubt at my intrusion to their natural habitat. One merely grazed my shoulder, while a second came within inches of my face. There were others- I could see pairs of beady eyes in the darkness- but only two chose to attack. I could have fought back, but opted to run. (I didn‘t spend twenty-three years on this earth drinking and chain smoking just to lose it all to a pair of fucking birds.) Since the incident- which I have taken to calling my own personal 9/11- I’ve largely avoided the car park of hell. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 9/11, All Blogs, andrew menzies, pigeons, war
Filed under Andrew's Blog | 4 Comments »
The Travel Agent
THE TRAVEL AGENT
Featuring:
Trystan Carter as Frank
Lauren Martin as Carol
and
Stephen LeBail as Travel Agent
Tags: agent, andrew menzies, bob woolsey, Comedy, lauren martin, sketch, sketch comedy, stephen lebail, travel, trystan carter
Filed under Videos | 4 Comments »
This Blog is Fight! By Bob…
The fight: a physical confrontation between two individuals. To dance, to chuck ‘em, to drop the gloves, to get crunk, to lay the smack down, to step to, to take it outside, to throw down, to want a piece of, to throw the hands.
Now, I should mention that I’ve never been in a real fight. I’ve been in hockey fights, witnessed/helped break up a couple of bar fights and I punched my brother in the face one time. But by no means do I consider myself a violent person and the prospect of getting punched in the face myself frightens me. However, I am convinced that I would do okay if the time came for me to ‘man up’.
First off, I’ve watched a lot of fights. People tell me I make good comments when watching UFC and other types of fighting. This leads me to believe that I have a pretty good handle on the theory of hand to hand combat. I’m a relatively in-shape guy. I play hockey once a week and I spend a lot of time outside. This leads me to believe that my conditioning would hold up at least long enough to put in a respectable effort. Plus, I’m tall. Reach is a key factor in these types of things. Lastly, I’ve had coaching. My father once told me “if you ever get in a fight, you better make the first one count.” Who can feel vulnerable with wisdom like this on their side?
Tags: All Blogs, bob woolsey, Comedy, Fight, Smooshed
Filed under All Blogs, Bob's Blog | 7 Comments »
The Long Distance Relationship
THE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
featuring:
Trystan Carter as Matt
Stephen LeBail as Joe
Erin Rideout as Rachel
and
Lauren Martin as Gillian
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, Comedy, Girlfriend, lauren martin, Relationship, sketch, sketch comedy, stephen lebail, trystan carter, Videos
Filed under Videos | 5 Comments »
The Bob and Andrew Show: Q&A, Return of the Titans
Bob and Andrew have a website now! And for those of you who followed the weekly ramblings of the old Bob and Andrew Show on Myspace, you know that they like to post their inner thoughts and desires on the internet for all to hear. Well, they still like to do that and now that they have a platform all their own they’re bringing back the Bob and Andrew Show on a regular basis. Check back to this very site week to week for more of Bob and Andrew’s observations, pontifications and other innane conversations.
This week, Bob and Andrew interview each other in a bid for you to get to know them. Also they talk about Coup d’etats. So listen or they will conspire to usurp your crown.
Or DOWNLOAD it and listen to it on your Ipod.
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, Comedy, Coup d'etat, interview, Podcast
Filed under Podcast | 3 Comments »
The Origin of the Vancouver Canucks Logo
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, Canucks, hockey, logo, sketch comedy, Vancouver, wig
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“Organs? Yes sir.” By Andrew!
Recently I paid the Canadian government seventy-five dollars to renew my driver’s license. With what amounts to roughly thirty beers or a really nice pair of shoes, I received a laminated card with my picture on it. I’m not smiling, but not frowning either. It’s kind of a dead glare that I could easily replicate should anyone contest it.
However I was unaware that my seventy five dollars would bring this feeling of unrelenting fear and an empty burning in my chest. You see, apparently when you renew a driver’s license, you’re asked to be an organ donor. They want you to give up your parts should you parish while driving with your new license.
I don’t remember getting this card when I initially passed my road test at sixteen. Perhaps they thought I was too young to make such a decision. Too immature or hasty to choose something that will affect the rest of my life. Or is it “effect”? I’ve never been really sure, but… wait, no time!
Tags: All Blogs, andrew menzies, blood, Comedy, decision, kidney, organ
Filed under All Blogs, Andrew's Blog | 2 Comments »
Party Time
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, cocaine, Comedy, parties, sketch, sketch comedy, Videos
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