Grand Theft Auto Ruined My Life
Posted on July 8th, 2008
I am not a videogame guy. I used to be a videogame guy, about five years ago. It was a pretty serious habit: four, five hours a night, shooting terrorists in SOCOM 2, online with some buddies. I had a rank of Lieutenant and was invested in protecting it, raising my position by getting head-shots and extracting hostages.
I curbed my habit in late 2004. I stopped playing altogether to prepare for the rigors of film school, which believe me was tough as Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas had just hit stores. For those of you who don’t know, the Grand Theft Auto series is as close as it gets to ball blasting perfection. GTA3 opened a whole new chapter in the world of videogames, while Vice City a year later Luckily GTA:SA was a clusterfuck of cheesy storytelling and ridiculousness (seemed easy for poor urban teenager Carl Johnson to get hold of jet packs and F16s). Nevertheless, duty called, and I logged back onto SOCOM as soon as I graduated.
As the X-Box 360 launched and my other, weaker friends moved on to harder and harder stuff, I decided to clean up for good. I Craig’s Listed the fuck out of my PlayStation 2, and didn’t look back. Two years pass, and even though I smoke the occasional cigarette and drink like a fish, I have no other serious addictions.
Enter Grand Theft Auto IV.
I could explain my love-affair with GTA3 and Vice City, even my brief fondling with San Andreas, to a degree. I could tell you why I ABSOLUTELY HAD TO HAVE Grand Theft Auto 4. No more, the honeymoon is over. It is ruining my life. I present to you, in pictures:
To summarize: videogames are to be avoided. Smoke cigarettes, freebase cocaine. These are habits that can be controlled. If you find yourself twenty three years old, wandering around a pretend city in search of two hundred hidden pigeons to shoot in the face, maybe you need to do drugs. An Xbox 360 will ruin your fucking life.
No related posts.
Tags: crack-cocaine, GTA 3, GTA IV, videogames, wrecked life
Filed under All Blogs, Andrew's Blog |
7 Responses to “Grand Theft Auto Ruined My Life”
-
Scott Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 8:46 pmFish Hook
-
Steve Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 10:28 pmBack when the AI in the GTA games sucked, I used to climb up to tall places with a sniper rifle (so the cops wouldn’t follow) and start popping heads.
I think the greatest thing about the GTA games is that it shows us all how close we really are to being complete raving psychos.
In one word: awesome.
-
Andrew Says:
July 8th, 2008 at 11:39 pmThere are lots of fire escapes in GTA4. If you pick the right building, cops will climb up one side, and while you crouch on the fire escape on the other side, they run right off the building to their death.
Good times.
-
bob Says:
July 9th, 2008 at 12:49 pmYou guys need to get lives of some kind, perhaps, dare I say, even girlfriends?
-
Scott Says:
July 9th, 2008 at 6:14 pmI have a life and I play plenty of video games. Stereotyping is wrong, Robert.
-
bob Says:
July 9th, 2008 at 11:47 pmDefine ‘life’
-
www.bobandandrew.com » Blog Archive » Grand Theft Adulation Says:
July 17th, 2008 at 10:32 pm[...] Several days ago I blogged about Grand Theft Auto IV and how it is ruining my life. [...]