Pigeon Technology II

Posted on August 15th, 2008

If you remember the vicious flow I spewed several moons ago, good on you.

On vineyard land there’s a practice of shooting air cannons to scare away birds and other predators that might eat the wine berries.  It appears Pigeon Technology has been adapted to the detriment of the homeless person yet again.

The bank nearby my place of business has a warm, spacious foyer in which many a hobo has taken the odd slumber. While the general bank is closed, it’s not uncommon to find, two, three, four, five or six hobos napping.  Not once have any of them hassled me for money while I used the ATM, which is unfortunate, because I enjoying lying.

There have been no hobo sleepovers in my bank for the past month. Why? Because a constant, eardrum-crapping beep rings out during the bank’s off-hours.

This is similar to another practice of audio mind-fucking, one in which prevents teenagers from loitering.  As much as today’s youth sets off a flurry of rage in my gut, I don’t think ultrasonic pulses are the best way to deal with kids hanging around Wal Mart on a Saturday.  (An angry, broom-waving Portuguese woman will always get my vote.)

I wish to state for the record that I fully endorse resourceful homelessness. Often times when I am walking the streets, I note areas of which would make ample spaces for sleeping, eating, or defecating, in case one day I am sans home.  When I see a hobo sleeping I assess his quarters on a sliding scale of one to ten.  If I have a pen and paper on hand, I will write down the hobo’s score and leave it in his tip jar.

This should frighten us.  This complete lack of regard for decency should smack us in the face and question what kind of people we’ve become. We can’t have a man- a man with no home, food, toilet- to sleep under cover in a public place while no one is even fucking there?  It sparks my gonads aflame with rage.

I suggest we arm the homeless.

Tags: andrew menzies, atm, bird, cardboard box, hobo, hobos, immortal technique, loitering, pigeon, pigeons, technology, teeangers
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3 Responses to “Pigeon Technology II”

1. Meghan Says:
   August 16th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

   You should do a social experiment where you live as a homeless man for a week, and write an expose on the horrifying conditions these men face. It will be like that Tyra Banks thing where she dressed up as a fat chick, except you don’t have your own talk show. I would totally watch The Andrew Menzies Show. It would be like Anderson Cooper times a million.

2. Scott Says:
   August 17th, 2008 at 9:19 pm

   I miss you.

3. Nick Says:
   August 20th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

   Ok I am noticing that the majority of your posts mention pigeons… to the point where it is getting just a little bit creepy.

   just a little.

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