2009: A Look Ahead

Posted on November 26th, 2008

I think it’s important to treat each new year as an opportunity. I believe the Christians do a good job of conceptualizing this by calling each new year God’s year, a year he hath made for you and me to enjoy. Too bad they’ve done nothing but hold the world back for 2000 years. Now that my insult of mainstream religion is out of the way, let’s talk a bit about my hopes and dreams for the year ahead.

Since I was born on September 28th, 1983 I have steadily been progressing as a person. In the beginning I couldn’t even walk, talk or do basic calculations. But through hard work, a positive outlook and my unrelenting desire to better myself I slowly overcame the challenges of being a baby and am now a fully grown adult. There have been many milestones along the way, many occasions. I was named fire chief for a day in kindergarten, I came in second place in a speech contest in grade 1, I won a spot as a junior fire fighter for the forest service the summer after grade 12, just last year I finally buckled down and learned the guitar – I suck, but I have campfire skills, and more recently I was awarded along with one Andrew Menzies, the best Sitcom writing team award from the prestigious Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program in late 2005.

So it is with great accomplishments already behind me that I look forward to 2009 and the challenge of going farther. Let’s look ahead.

The first thing I would like to accomplish in 2009 is to get in shape. I’m not out of shape per se but I have had a hernia for the past 8 months that has hampered any kind of working out. Sure the hernia came from being out of shape and jumping back into full activity too abruptly, but this time is going to be different!

Secondly I’d like to read more. The new John Grisham looks interesting and I hear the book for Twilight is much better than the film so I might check that out.

Next year I’d like to learn how to cook some new things. As of the writing of this blog I am able to cook a handful of delicious meals that have gotten me through my time since leaving home. Among them: spaghetti, curry chicken casserole, tacos, dill chicken with pasta and stir fry. When I’m not cooking these things I usually subsist on Kraft Dinner or some kind of frozen food that I just have to heat in the oven. It’s time for an injection of a flavorful new dish. I’m thinking something ethnic.

In the coming year I’d also like to save my money more effectively. Up until now I have a life savings of approximately $-30,000. I’m hoping to turn that ship around. In the coming year, I will buy a plethora of lottery tickets.

I’d like to learn how to sail. I live so close to the ocean it should be pretty easy.

When I was kid I wanted to be an astronaut. I’ve decided that 2009 will be my year of not letting this dream die. In 2009 and will take the first step (One small step for the year, one giant leap for my dream) towards my space training. Since NASA has not accepted my solicitations for employment I will have to do it myself. My strategy is 3 fold: First I will memorize the periodic table of the elements, second I will get a summer pass to the PNE fair ground where I will ride the roller coaster however many times I have to before I stop puking mid-ride and thirdly, I will tie rocks to my shorts and walk along the bottom of the pool at the Y to simulate weightlessness. I predict success.

Another thing I’d like to do that I’ve been putting of for years is to get married. I’d like to settle down and start a family and I feel like 2009 is the year. I’ll be holding open auditions in late January or early February. Potential spouses please bring a resume and head shot.

Obviously this website which you are viewing right now is also a large part of my plans for 2009. Andrew and I have been pushing ourselves to be better writers every day. We’ve worked with some very talented people in the short history of this website and you can count on that tradition to continue. All except Stephen LeBail of course. He borrowed a crock pot from me and has refused to give it back, so he’s out. It was a very nice crock pot and I haven’t been able to make a decent roast since.

Other plans for bobandandrew.com in 2009:

- Purchase a helicopter with our accumulated wealth
- Fund a shark research program
- Give back to the kids
- Pay for the damage caused by a horrible helicopter crash
- Purchase helicopter pilot lessons
- Ask for a government bailout package

Tags: 2009, andrew menzies, astronaut, BC forest service, bob woolsey, crock pot, fire fighter, helicopter, hernia, john grisham, kraft dinner, nasa, new year, plans, pne, roast, robert pattison, september 28th 1983, sharks, stephen lebail, twilight, vancouver film school, writing for film and television
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11 Responses to “2009: A Look Ahead”

1. Michele Says:
   November 26th, 2008 at 8:37 pm

   I want to learn to sail too. Can we take classes together?

   If the starting a family thing falls short this year always remember you will be our kids uncle bob!

2. Scott Says:
   November 27th, 2008 at 2:26 am

   You won’t be Uncle Bob to my children, but you can be Uncle Bob to me.

3. Chelsea Says:
   November 27th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

   Do I have to submit a headshot, since you already know what I look like?

4. bob Says:
   November 27th, 2008 at 7:20 pm

   Yes. It’s a little thing called professionalism. Have some self respect.

5. Chelsea Says:
   November 28th, 2008 at 12:54 am

   I’m a Menzies, we don’t believe in self respect….or professionalism. You should know this.

6. bob Says:
   November 28th, 2008 at 11:56 am

   True, true. I stand corrected.

7. Nick Says:
   November 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

   Also being born on Sept 28, 1983 I hate to be the one to burst your bubble… but Libra’s can’t cook… they are usually stubborn enough to try and determined to succeed so they convince themselves it tastes good even though it doesn’t. I advise you abort this dream before you hurt someone with it.

8. bob Says:
   November 28th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

   That about hits the nail right on the head. However, I refuse to believe that my destiny is determined by the stars. I shall persevere.

9. Diana Says:
   November 28th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

   Nick, I have the exact same birthday as Bob, so…fuck you! You like my cooking!!

10. bob Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Actually Nick was born on the EXACT same day as me. Same year and everything. Sorry Di, you were a year late.

11. andrew Says:
    December 1st, 2008 at 12:46 am

    Were your parents at the same orgy or something?

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