Intolerance is Gay

Posted on November 8th, 2008

The English Dictionary defines intolerance as “a lack of toleration”. Wait. Son of a whore!

The English Dictionary defines “tolerance” as “a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc. differ from one’s own”.

So to be “intolerant” or to “not tolerate” means that one holds attitudes and opinions against others whose lifestyle differs from his or her own.

Being a straight white male under thirty is a pretty sweet gig. I have never experienced sexism, racism, or even ageism in my entire life. Sure, there was that one instance when this guy threw a tennis ball at my face, but I’m fairly certain that was because he caught me sifting through his picnic basket.

I only took two pears and a roast beef sandwich. Don’t know why his daughter was crying.

There are lots of better groups of people to hate than those of a particular race, ethnicity, belief or practice. Why hate gays when you can hate people that wear chain wallets? Instead of burning a cross on your lawn as a symbol of “white power”, burn a cross on your lawn as a symbol of support for dog neutering. The next time you want to throw rocks at a woman in a dress, give her an apple and tell her what a lovely hat she’s wearing. Maybe she’ll sleep with you.

Are You Intolerant?

This section will help determine if you are intolerant. Simply answer the following questions.

I hate:

Black people – YES / NO
White people – YES / NO
Gay people – YES / NO
Jews – YES / NO
Women – YES / NO
Muslims- YES/NO

If you answered “YES” to any of the above questions, congratulations, you are intolerant.

What Can I Do?

If you are intolerant, simply stop.

The best way to stop being intolerant is submit yourself to a severe bout of intolerance, so you can see how the other half lives. For example, if you are white and over forty, paint yourself brown and go hand out copies of Malcolm X’s autobiography in southern Alabama for two weeks. You’ll learn pretty quickly that hating someone because of the way they look is pretty juvenile.

If midgets frighten you, calmly cross the street and avoid eye contact. No need to kick them in the face and steal their identification.

If you’re going beat the shit out of someone, do it because they stole your clock radio and not because they’re Mormon.

If women in politics angers you, stop voting. You’re probably a buffoon anyway.

Summation

I hope I cleared the air. Intolerance is possibly the worst thing earth has to overcome in the twenty-first century. Well, as soon as we solve terrorism, global warming and AIDS.

But after that, it should be our number one priority to teach our children that intolerance is totally fucking gay.

No related posts.

Tags: black people, gays, hate crime, intolerance, jews, malcolm x, muslims, the government, white people
Filed under All Blogs, Andrew's Blog |

5 Responses to “Intolerance is Gay”

1. bob Says:
   November 8th, 2008 at 11:53 am

   So eloquent, yet so visceral.

2. andrew Says:
   November 8th, 2008 at 1:05 pm

   Like a good porno.

3. Nick Says:
   November 11th, 2008 at 11:33 am

   So this new, revolutionary method to overcome intolerance; (‘just stop’), does it work for drug/alcohol/sex addictions as well?

4. andrew Says:
   November 11th, 2008 at 12:02 pm

   Absolutely.

5. bob Says:
   November 11th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

   This blog is particularly poignant in the wake of proposition 8 passing in California.

Leave a Reply