Terry Joseph Wharburton: 1951-2009
Posted on August 28th, 2009
Bob and Andrew are sad to announce the death of longtime producer and friend, Terry Joseph Wharburton.
Terry was many things to many people. He was a father, a lover, a husband, a defendant, and an old man. Terry had a passion for finishing, biplaning, Italian fusion cooking as well as mixed martial arts, women and the drink. He will be missed by many, revered by few.
Click below to hear Bob and Andrew’s thoughts and memories of their long-time podcast producer and cocaine dealer.
We apologize about the quality of the recording, as we were without a producer.
After the jump, there’s an unfinished interview Andrew was conducing with Terry upon the time of his death.
Terry Joseph Wharburton produces the Bob & Andrew Show podcast. At Christmas, we interviewed Terry about his disdain for the holiday season. Today, we focus on Terry’s yearning to be a motivational speaker. We decided the only way to sort out this frustrating and frankly baffling revelation was to sit down and ask Terry flat out why he thought he had anything of relevance to share with society.
This is one man’s story.
bobandandrew.com: Thanks for coming down, Terry.
Terry: I appreciate the boot shining.
bobandandrew.com: This really is quaint, isn’t it? You don’t see a lot of old-time shoe shiners around anymore.
Terry: What the hell does “quaint” me? Are you calling me a faggot?
bobandandrew.com: Calm down, Terry.
Terry: Okay.
bobandandrew.com: So, the other day you mentioned your aspirations to speak in front of children.
Terry: I want to show the youth of the world what can happen when a man has nothing to lose.
bobandandrew.com: Do you think you have the right qualifications to become a motivational speaker?
Terry: I got a mouth and a suit, don’t I?
bobandandrew.com: I don’t think it’s that simple. Most motivational speakers have degrees or life experience that would make sharing their story beneficial to others. As far as we understand it, you have none of those things. You’re liar and a thief. You’ve been divorced three times. You verbally abused your developmentally disabled son. You crashed an airplane and sent money to the Taliban. We’ve seen you attempt to set fire to a hospital. Terry, you’re not a good person.
Terry: Watch the heel.
bobandandrew.com: Terry?
Terry: Oh, sorry, I was talking to this coloured fellow.
bobandandrew.com: The boot shiner? He’s Portuguese, and that’s not even close to the correct term.
Terry: Portuguese? No shit. I had chow mein for lunch.
bobandandrew.com: Alright, foregoing your lack of experience or moral compass, if given the chance, what would you want to teach the youth of our nation?
Terry: Practical things. Trades.
bobandandrew.com: Like welding and carpentry?
Terry: I would be a great teacher. My father taught me how to whittle. I made a flute. It didn’t work too well.
bobandandrew.com: Your father died when you were eleven, right?
Terry: Mom shot him in the leg. Papa died of an infection a short time later. He was, after all, a Christian scientist.
bobandandrew.com: Did you have any role models growing up? Perhaps a teacher you admired, or an uncle?
Terry: Uncle Jeff went to jail for rape when I was nine. I quit school a short time later.
bobandandrew.com: Are those two incidents related?
Terry: (long pause) No.
bobandandrew.com: Who is Sol McGuinty?
Terry: My Jew lawyer.
bobandandrew.com: I don’t think that’s the correct term.
Terry: Alright. My Jew barrister. Anyway, he’s an alright Jew.
bobandandrew.com: Terry–
Terry: Hang on, I’m getting a page.
bobandandrew.com: You have a pager?
Terry: I need to take this.
Terry leaves the room. He returns seventeen minutes later, dripping with sweat and reeking of whiskey.
bobandandrew.com: Terry–
Terry: What?!
bobandandrew.com: Shall we continue?
Terry: I don’t give a God Damn.
bobandandrew.com: Okay. We were discussing your–
Terry: I need a pussy.
bobandandrew.com: What?
Terry: Been a long time. A long… long time.
bobandandrew.com: Terry, let’s call it a day. We’ll finish this up next week.
Terry: Sounds good. I’m flying my biplane to the island Friday night. Gonna see about a lady.
bobandandrew.com: Well, have a safe flight.
Terry: Thank you. You know, Adam–
bobandandrew.com: Andrew. It’s Andrew.
Terry: Whatever. You and Roger are two of the finest young gentlemen I’ve ever known. You listen to my stories, you give me employment, and when we go to bars, you don’t Bogart my tang.
bobandandrew.com: Yeah, well, don’t worry about it.
Terry: I will not worry about it so long as I have friends like you. Give daddy a hug.
bobandandrew.com: Back the fuck off, Terry!
Terry: Did I ever tell you boys about the time I had sex with twins?
bobandandrew.com: No, you didn’t.
Terry: Me and her brother double-teamed her for a good fifteen minutes.
bobandandrew.com: God damn it, Terry.
Terry: Fuck you! Don’t judge me, Adam.
Add Terry as a friend on Facebook and leave a comment on his wall. Celebrate the man.
http://www.facebook.com/thehandsomebiplaner
Related posts:
- Terry Joseph Wharburton: A Christmas Interview
- How To Christmas by Terry Joseph Wharburton
- 2009: A Harder Look Ahead
- 2009: A Look Ahead
- The Bob and Andrew Show: Update
Tags: biplane, death, Terry Joseph Wharburton
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3 Responses to “Terry Joseph Wharburton: 1951-2009”
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scott Says:
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:15 pmgood riddance
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LeBail Says:
September 6th, 2009 at 3:40 ambout time you two sat down and conversed. Fuck Terry, really he was a waste of space. Period bitches.
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LeBail Says:
September 6th, 2009 at 3:42 amOh another bit of news. Sol McGuinty is back on his feet. Liver better than ever.