S2E3 The Interview
In this episode Bob has reached the end of his unemployment and needs to find a job. Feeling a bit nervous about his impending interview, Andrew decides to enlist some of his most trusted confidants to help.
Three down and four more to go:
Ep 1, The Fallout – Monday, June 6th
Ep 2, The Meeting – Monday, June 13th
Ep 3, The Interview – Monday, June 20th
Ep 4, The Advice – Monday, June 27th
Ep 5, The Club – Monday, July 4th
Ep 6, The Decision – Monday, July 11th
Ep 7 pt.1, The Woods – Monday, July 18th
Ep 7 pt.2, The Woulds – Monday, July 25th
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Sweeping the Mindchamber: Thoughts on Acting, Art and Andrew
I am not an actor. I am barely a writer. (I am most certainly a human being and a person.)
I do not make any qualms nor hold any reservations about my thespian prowess or lack thereof. I admire the craft. I respect it. Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, John Cazale, Jude Law… long have these men been my heroes of stage and sound.
When we finished filming season one of the acclaimed webbernet comedy spectacle “Bob & Andrew” (I play Andrew), I told my writing partner/confidant/holder of my power-of-attorney Robert “Bob” Woolsey that I was finished with acting.
“I’ve retired,” I blurted between swigs of celebratory ale on that cold November morning, “So fuck you and your fucking show!”
Bob was patient with me, and after the success of those first five episodes, I decided perhaps the world was ready for more of my astounding performances. Bob offered an expected “I told you so,” and then slapped me around a bit.
Tags: acting, andrew menzies, bob & andrew, bob dylan, bob woolsey, darren borrowman, de niro, dust in the wind, john cazale, Keith Opatovsky, lauren martin, mescaline, patsy tomkins, season 2
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Season 2 of the Web Series
Bob and Andrew are proud to present a brand new audio-based podcast with special guests Keith Opatovsky and Darren Borrowman!
You may recognize these two fine gentlemen from their work on season one of our acclaimed web series, “Bob & Andrew”. Darren directed the first five episodes, in addition to numerous other sketches posted over the years. Keith is our stalwart producer; handsome, rugged, brave. They’re two of our best pals and collaborators, and today, we’re happy to give you a sneak preview for what’s in store in season two of “Bob & Andrew”.
You can follow them both on Twitter – @dborrowtime (Darren) and @Opamatic (Keith)
Season one got some great reviews from The Georgia Straight, Web Series Today and The Watch List. Production is underway on seven brand new episodes. We’re looking forward to sharing the new material with you this spring!
Right click to save or stream below!
Tags: 3d, amber cella, andrew menzies, april green, avatar, bob woolsey, Comedy, darren borrowman, Keith Opatovsky, lauren martin, marcel perro, pirahna 3d, ryan tapping, season 2, sketch comedy, tom belding, update, web series
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Bob Woolsey: Storm’s A-Comin’
bobandandrew.com is proud to present an excerpt from Bob Woolsey’s upcoming memoir entitled “Bob Woolsey: Storm’s A-Comin’”.
Published by Harper-Collins, “Storm’s A-Comin’” chronicles Mr. Woolsey’s life as an extreme weather-chaser as he criss-crosses Canada in search of high pressure systems as well as low pressure systems. Here’s what critics and peers are saying:
“‘Storm’s A-Comin’” is an absolute must-read if you’ve got a face, brain and balls.”
-Andrew Menzies
“This is totally a book.”
-James Marsden (X-Men 2)
“The cover is nice.”
-Neil Young (acclaimed Canadian singer-songwriter speaking about another publication)
“The paper is of cheap quality. If you add beeswax, you can roll marijuana cigarettes with it. Fuck off Dorothy, I’m on the phone!”
Terry Joseph Wharburton (bobandandrew.com Podcast Producer)
We are proud to present chapter 16 in its entirety.
Chapter 16: Night Falls
It had been two days since Hurricane Marcus touched down in rural New Brunswick. Dr. Edith Harding sent a frantic early-morning email requesting immediate help. In my haste I forgot to don my long johns. As I sat on that red-eye flight to the Dieppe airport, I mused that the error could lead to my downfall.
Tags: andrew menzies, bob woolsey, dieppe international airport, Dr. Edith Harding, Neil Young, non-fiction, storm chasing, tamil tigers, Terry Joseph Wharburton, X-Men 2
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Conspiracy Theories: From Bunked to Debunked
For as long as there has been man and word, there has existed a need for truth.
A thirst for knowledge.
A hunger for… also knowledge.
Today I will debunk popular conspiracy theories. While I attest to professing little to no knowledge in a variety of subjects, I will attempt to beat off my detractors (heh!) by implementing a simple scale of one to ten that will determine the likelihood of truth in each theory.
Here is the scale:
The number “six” wouldn’t fit with the size and font I chose. Also, the colours are meaningless.
NEXT STOP: CONSPIRACY????????????
Tags: 2012, 9/11, dick vs. no dick, JFK, kurt cobain, Lady Gaga, Lee Harvey Oswald, pearl harbour
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Andrew Menzies – A Review
Last night in a small comedy club in the basement of a bar in Gastown, Vancouver, bobandandrew.com’s very own Andrew Menzies took the stage to spit some jokes. In the process, the young comedian effectively did stand-up for the first time. No doubt a very significant event in Andrew’s life. I’m sure it probably ranks somewhere between becoming self aware and hearing his mother swear for the first time.
Guilt and Comedy is a newer comedy event in town and is run by the ever beautiful and talented Lauren Martin along with her co-host, the also beautiful Kate Lumsdon. If last night was any indication, this is a comedy night that will pretty much let anyone perform. In the span of only a couple hours I saw a veteran of the Vancouver comedy scene, a beat cop turned poet who issued poetic citations, a rather angry homosexual comedian, a clown lady and sketch comedy from none other than Jackie Blackmore of “The Skinny.” Oh, and Andrew Menzies. But don’t get me wrong, folks, this eclectic gathering of talent was not only interesting but enjoyable.
Tags: act, All Blogs, andrew menzies, beat cop poet, bob woolsey, clown, Comedy, gastown, guilt and comedy, jackie blackmore, kate lumsdon, lauren martin, marcel perro, scene, stand up, the skinny, Vancouver
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Zombies: Holy shit and other thoughts
In an age where Large Hadron Colliders and massive oil spills are the norm, the zombie uprising is a foregone conclusion.
You can pray to your God. You can stockpile all you want. But at the end of the day, there ain’t no insurance premium for the undead.
I’m pragmatic. I know this because I looked up the word. I’ve accepted that society is fragile. That our infrastructure is collapsing and that we, as humans, are doomed.
There’s nothing we can do now, expect pray. (And check our insurance premiums.)
There are six certainties that you must embrace during a zombie uprising. The sooner you make peace with your situation the sooner you’ll be able to develop a new-world marauder alter-ego complete with wardrobe, catch-phrase and small piece of your past that prevents you from getting close to another survivor.
Tags: apocalypse, armed robbery, beans, guns, jerks, jersey shore, money, rrsp, science, space, the zombies, zombies
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Don’t Call Me Zombie
At long last our short film, Don’t Call Me Zombie is available to all online. It was too big of a file, too full of quality and laughter, to upload here or to Youtube. But it was sooo good, we decided to enter it in competition. So it’s on the NSI Short Film Festival. You can see it if you CLICK HERE. And you’re in Canada. Sorry international fans. You’ll just have to wait.
The film tells the story of Al, a nine to five working class zombie, who has to overcome social misnomers in an attempt to be accepted among his peers. It’s a workplace romantic comedy meets zombie film that is sure to please.
Directed by Nicholas Humphries
Written by Bob and Andrew (duh)
Produced by Ryan Copple
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Terry Joseph Wharburton: 1951-2009
Bob and Andrew are sad to announce the death of longtime producer and friend, Terry Joseph Wharburton.
Terry was many things to many people. He was a father, a lover, a husband, a defendant, and an old man. Terry had a passion for finishing, biplaning, Italian fusion cooking as well as mixed martial arts, women and the drink. He will be missed by many, revered by few.
Click below to hear Bob and Andrew’s thoughts and memories of their long-time podcast producer and cocaine dealer.
We apologize about the quality of the recording, as we were without a producer.
After the jump, there’s an unfinished interview Andrew was conducing with Terry upon the time of his death.
Tags: biplane, death, Terry Joseph Wharburton
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Pigeon Technology III: Pigeons Fight Back
The pigeons have risen. And they’re out for meat.
Human meat.
In Pigeon Technology I, I chronicled how basic “Pigeon Technology” was hampering the lives of various hobosapiens in my neighbourhood.
Due to unyielding political strife/public outcry for justice, Pigeon Technology II was birthed. I will admit the second chapter was written hastily and filled with grievous factual errors, but its heart was in the right spot.
But forget all of that shit. We’ve got bigger problems than the moderate set-up for a vaguely comedic Internet blog.
The pigeons are fighting back!
Tags: bob & andrew bucks, culling, pigeon technology
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WEB LOG
This is truth: until sixteen days ago, I had no idea that the word “blog” was derived from the term “web log”.
This revelation threw me. I’m usually pretty tight with words and shit. I got straight B’s in high school English; obviously above average, but not too big for my britches.
Had I gotten all A’s I would be filled with too much confidence to even explore my grammatical shortcomings. (Of which, believe me, there are many.)
When I think of words that are fucking kick ass, I tend to think of things, as opposed to ideas. Democracy is a pretty good idea, but as a word? Lame.
Some words have a particular ring to them that’s just appealing, even if the object, idea or place they describe or represent is wholly disgusting. Examples: falcon, snot, microwave.
I could go on but I’d rather share these drawings I made.
Tags: All Blogs, animals, fire, horse, Jesus, ms paint, rabbit, turtle, web log
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Raincity 72 Hour Noir Film Contest
Last weekend Bob and Andrew were approached by their good friend Darren Borrowman to write a short film for him. Little did they know that they would have little over 4 hours to do it. As part of the Raincity 72 Hour Noir Film Contest, Bob and Andrew penned the script for “Pier Pressure” which was directed by Mr Borrowman. It’s a comedy noir along the lines of “Naked Gun.” Starring website regulars Lauren Martin, Stephen LeBail and Jamie Slade along with one of Darren’s friend’s Tom Belding (who is amazing in the film) and featuring a fantastic score by the lovely and talented Red, Pier Pressure is sure to finish among the top films in the contest.
You can attend the screening Saturday, March 21st, 11:30am at the Rio Theatre near Commercial and Broadway in Vancouver. Tickets are 10 dollars.
Tags: 72 hour, andrew menzies, bob woolsey, competition, darren borrowman, film noir, Jamie Slade, lauren martin, naked gun, pier pressure, rachel watson, raincity, red, short film, stephen lebail, tom belding
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Star Trek: The Facts… Without Any of That Geek Bullshit
There’s a new Star Trek movie coming out in May. A JJ Abrams relaunching of the classic franchise that I assume will be shit. But that’s a blog for another day. Today I would like to inform you of the ins and outs of a proud tradition of story telling we call, Star Trek.
Those of you that know me know that I am a long time Star Trek fan. I’ve been called a Trekker. I grew up with Captain Picard and Captain Kirk. In many ways they shaped the man I am today. Proud, noble, forever ripping my shirts fighting alien bad guys.
I grew up during something of a golden age of Star Trek. A time when it was so popular that it was almost accepted to be a fan of it. Almost. Sure, I’ve been made fun of over the years for my passionate following of this cult sci-fi show. I’ve been ridiculed for yelling “Phasers on stun!” at random and in public. But all the while I’ve maintained that I am not a Star Trek geek. I am a Star Trek fan. There is a difference. Those differences may be subtle, but they exist.
In an effort to clear up a few misconceptions surrounding Star Trek and its fans, please allow me to give run-down of some facts.
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Man-Up March: Man up, in March!
Oh you better believe this is an Argh blog; full of piss and vinegar and cigarette butts and motherfucking head stomps. Argh! ARGHHHH!
Man-Up March is in full effect. What? You don’t know what Man-Up March is? Well, then you’re probably not doing it right.
MAN UP; (mahn uhp); verb: To hiken one’s bootstraps; to become a man.
MARCH; (mah-rach); noun: The third lunar month.
Use your headspace to combine those two shitbricks.
Tags: be a man, complicated charts, hulk hogan, man up, Man-Up March, motherfuckers
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Las Vegas: What They Don’t Want You To Know
Avid followers of this page will know that I recently took a trip to Las Vegas. Avid followers of my life will know that I am dirt broke. Hard to believe, I know. My image is the very model of wealth and class. However, I am indeed broke. This trip was funded by none other than Mr. Bob Woolsey Sr. and Mrs. Carol Woolsey – my lovely parents. They traveled to this Mecca of slot machines and show theatres a couple of years back and loved it so much they wanted to take my brother and I with them for the second go-round.
I have my sneaking suspicions that their true motives for taking us on this trip was their stinging feelings of guilt over never following up on their promise to take us to Disneyland when we were kids. To this day I experience a recurring dream wherein I get to meet Goofy only to have him remove his mask and reveal himself as the creepy, dirty traveling fair guy that used to stop in our little town every summer. It’s horrible.
There are a lot of things I wasn’t ready for in Las Vegas and I’d like to share them with you here. I know you probably think that a place so well documented in the movies and pop culture would be easy to prepare for. You’d be wrong and also a jerk for sand bagging me and my blog.
I will describe my experience for you. In doing so, I will outline what you need to know in order to enjoy Las Vegas to the maximum.
Tags: guide, las vegas, preparation, vacation, woolsey family
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A Collection of Hilarious Lists
Often times I will assemble a list of objects, devices or things meant to spark thought.
I compile data and research, conduct thorough surveys, and generally use my magnificent (yet still uncertified) sleuthing skills to get to the heart of the issues I am preparing to list.
I have made lists of the best land mammals, curse worse and liquors. However those blogs are absolute bullshit compared to the knowledge I’m about to drop.
While some people (re. cocksucking, sandbagging motherfuckers) have suggested that list-centric blogs are lazy and child-like, I tend to disagree. Lists are what separate us from the animals. Man’s ability to take several similar objects, organize and rank them arbitrarily merely to create conflict is an essential and vital practice. Why, without the “Best Dressed” or “Worst Dressed” lists, we’d be nothing more than monkeys spitting and pooping about!
I am doing mankind a service. So without further to do, what lies onward is a series of hilarious lists.
Tags: andrew menzies, gta3, john cusack, lists, neutral, people who have beat andrew up, philanthropy, ranking, the beatles
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My Death List
Some months ago, Bob and I pondered death and death lists in the acclaimed Internet sketch, Kick in the Head .
While death is terrible, making and seeking out a death list is not. I hope the "YEAH" banner satisfies you.
Here is my death list.
1. Build a boat.
2. Bake a comically large pizza.
3. Be in a position to donate to charity.
4. Do cocaine with Pat O’Brien. Preferably off of Mary Hart.
Tags: death list, diablo cody, kick in the head, revenge
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Marriage: Thank You, NO.
Ah, marriage. The splendid union between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man. The most happiest day of two peoples’ lives celebrated with kith and kin, not soon to be forgotten in the hallmarks of the times.
Marriage is stupid.
Let’s look at the facts: 50% of marriages end in divorce. I didn’t research this statistic nor do I care to, but it seems more than reasonable. If going in to something that has a 50/50 chance of failure, what’s the point? I feel the same way about checkers as I do about marriage.
Second point: marriage is stupid. If you love someone, why do you need to throw a giant party and buy a couple of shiny rocks to prove it? Invest in mutual funds and take a trip some place warm. That’s how you celebrate love. Or buy a boat and name it after your significant lover.
“The S.S. Bob Woolsey sank today. All 375 on board perished in the icy waters of the Adriatic Sea. Human error is to blame.”
Tags: andrew menzies, argh, beatles, breathing, divorce, marriage, puppys, Scooter Browne, Shakespeare, Wedding
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The Best Land Mammals
The Animal Kingdom is the most dangerous kingdom.
In the Animal Kingdom, there is no rule of law. There is no schools, is no churches, is no grocery stores. You gotta fight to survive.
Every animal for herself.
I am here today to count down the top three land animals based on a detailed flow-chart of various factors. However, the flow-chart was damaged in transport therefor I cannot show it to you. You’ll just have to take my word that it was an intricate and complex flow-chart that would have illustrated my points quickly and concisely.
Now, some of you might say ranking the best land mammals is a fruitless and trite waste of time. I have no immediate defense for such accusations. Seriously, why you gotta go breaking my balls like that?
Tags: andrew, antelope, grizzly bear, hamster, human, marmot, neutral, squirrel, wolverine
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Birthday Happy, Andrew
I don’t mean to toot my own horn but since no one else seems to want to, I’m left to celebrate my birthday via blogging.
Today I am twenty-four years old. Older than Super Nintendo, younger than the World Trade Towers.
I’ve got more years on me than Mickey Rourke’s chin, but less than Cher’s tits.
Twenty-four years. Woopity doo.
I burst through the vagina at exactly 4:44 PM, February 16th, 1985 (consult your Almanacs). I was greasy and irey: thespians will recognize this as foreshadowing. A welcomed changed from months in the womb, I was a stand-out example of what a baby should be. What a baby can be.
Did you bring a coat? Good, cause I’m about to take you on a journey.
Tags: 1985, 24, 9/11, andrew menzies, biggie smalls, birthday, bob woolsey, cher's tits, Neil Young, tupac, vaginal birthing
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