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Best Christmas Ever

Well, here it is in all its glory: Best. Christmas. Ever.

Created as part of the Laughing Stock 72 Hour Comedy Competition, Best Christmas Ever took home the awards for best director and best writing.

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Raincity 72 Hour Noir Film Contest

Last weekend Bob and Andrew were approached by their good friend Darren Borrowman to write a short film for him. Little did they know that they would have little over 4 hours to do it. As part of the Raincity 72 Hour Noir Film Contest, Bob and Andrew penned the script for “Pier Pressure” which was directed by Mr Borrowman. It’s a comedy noir along the lines of “Naked Gun.” Starring website regulars Lauren Martin, Stephen LeBail and Jamie Slade along with one of Darren’s friend’s Tom Belding (who is amazing in the film) and featuring a fantastic score by the lovely and talented Red,  Pier Pressure is sure to finish among the top films in the contest.

You can attend the screening Saturday, March 21st, 11:30am at the Rio Theatre near Commercial and Broadway in Vancouver. Tickets are 10 dollars.

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Ciel Gout Delicieux

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
Charlotte Chanler as Dorothy
Lauren Martin as Claire
and
Alan Sung as Boss

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A Collection of Hilarious Lists

Often times I will assemble a list of objects, devices or things meant to spark thought.

I compile data and research, conduct thorough surveys, and generally use my magnificent (yet still uncertified) sleuthing skills to get to the heart of the issues I am preparing to list.

I have made lists of the best land mammals, curse worse and liquors. However those blogs are absolute bullshit compared to the knowledge I’m about to drop.

While some people (re. cocksucking, sandbagging motherfuckers) have suggested that list-centric blogs are lazy and child-like, I tend to disagree. Lists are what separate us from the animals. Man’s ability to take several similar objects, organize and rank them arbitrarily merely to create conflict is an essential and vital practice. Why, without the “Best Dressed” or “Worst Dressed” lists, we’d be nothing more than monkeys spitting and pooping about!

I am doing mankind a service. So without further to do, what lies onward is a series of hilarious lists.

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B&A Show: Las Vegas and the Oscars

Bob and Andrew discuss Bob’s recent trip to Las Vegas as well as Andrew’s disdain for the Oscars.

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Robot

Directed by Darren Borrowman

featuring:
Bob as Scientist
Stephen LeBail as Robot

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Marriage: Thank You, NO.

Ah, marriage. The splendid union between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man. The most happiest day of two peoples’ lives celebrated with kith and kin, not soon to be forgotten in the hallmarks of the times.

Marriage is stupid.

Let’s look at the facts: 50% of marriages end in divorce. I didn’t research this statistic nor do I care to, but it seems more than reasonable. If going in to something that has a 50/50 chance of failure, what’s the point? I feel the same way about checkers as I do about marriage.

Second point: marriage is stupid. If you love someone, why do you need to throw a giant party and buy a couple of shiny rocks to prove it? Invest in mutual funds and take a trip some place warm. That’s how you celebrate love. Or buy a boat and name it after your significant lover.

“The S.S. Bob Woolsey sank today. All 375 on board perished in the icy waters of the Adriatic Sea. Human error is to blame.”

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Birthday Happy, Andrew

I don’t mean to toot my own horn but since no one else seems to want to, I’m left to celebrate my birthday via blogging. 

Today I am twenty-four years old. Older than Super Nintendo, younger than the World Trade Towers. 

I’ve got more years on me than Mickey Rourke’s chin, but less than Cher’s tits.

Twenty-four years. Woopity doo.

I burst through the vagina at exactly 4:44 PM, February 16th, 1985 (consult your Almanacs). I was greasy and irey: thespians will recognize this as foreshadowing. A welcomed changed from months in the womb, I was a stand-out example of what a baby should be.  What a baby can be.

Did you bring a coat? Good, cause I’m about to take you on a journey.

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The Bob & Andrew Show: John Hodgman’s Duck

The evolution of a sketch - part one.

Bob and Andrew describe their working relationship. They read a sketch that Andrew wrote which will be shot and posted to the website down the line.

http://www.myspace.com/deltaspirit - check them out if they’re coming to a city near you. They put on a great show!

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The Bob & Andrew Show: Update

Andrew and I thought we’d try something new and do some Vlogs instead of podcasts for a while. Here is our first. It’s kinda scrambled as we didn’t so much have a plan about how we were going to do this, we neglected to plan our “exit strategy,” if you will. We promise better ones later.

“Don’t Call Me Zombie” Screening Friday, February 13th in Vancouver. Email Bob or Andrew for details if you want to attend. View the Zombie page here: http://www.bobandandrew.com/short-fil…

bobandandrew.com live at the Wise Hall on March 4th. Tickets $20, all proceeds go to charity. No, we will not actually be working for beer.

Also, that is the wrong Youtube URL at the end of the video. It’s supposed to be youtube.com/BobandAndrewShow. No underscores.

ROCK!

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Heartbreak

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
Stephen LeBail as Hearbroken Man

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The Lunch Break

featuring:
Charlotte Chanler as Carly
Sean Gilchrist as Geoff
and
Bob as Greg

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Alone on Christmas

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
Stephen Lebail as Dan
and
Andrew Menzies as Hobo

That’s it for us this year. Thanks to everyone who has come by to watch a video, read a blog or listen to a podcast. We’ve got a lot more great stuff coming up in 2009. Stay tuned!

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The Argument

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
April Green as Julie
and
Bob as Kevin

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The Lair

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
Bob as McManus
Wade Fennig as Rich
Robyn Edwards as Secretary Voice
and
Andrew as Tailor

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The Bob & Andrew Show: A Star Wars Sex Talk

This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew discuss which wild animals would be the best to keep as pets, and Bob recounts his experience with the bible.

Things get a little blue when the topic of the Star Wars is brought up.  Bob thinks Chewbacca might be gay.  What does Andrew think? There’s only one way to find out…

Click play to listen or download for your iPod.

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2009: A Look Ahead

I think it’s important to treat each new year as an opportunity. I believe the Christians do a good job of conceptualizing this by calling each new year God’s year, a year he hath made for you and me to enjoy. Too bad they’ve done nothing but hold the world back for 2000 years. Now that my insult of mainstream religion is out of the way, let’s talk a bit about my hopes and dreams for the year ahead.

Since I was born on September 28th, 1983 I have steadily been progressing as a person. In the beginning I couldn’t even walk, talk or do basic calculations. But through hard work, a positive outlook and my unrelenting desire to better myself I slowly overcame the challenges of being a baby and am now a fully grown adult. There have been many milestones along the way, many occasions. I was named fire chief for a day in kindergarten, I came in second place in a speech contest in grade 1, I won a spot as a junior fire fighter for the forest service the summer after grade 12, just last year I finally buckled down and learned the guitar - I suck, but I have campfire skills, and more recently I was awarded along with one Andrew Menzies, the best Sitcom writing team award from the prestigious Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program in late 2005.

So it is with great accomplishments already behind me that I look forward to 2009 and the challenge of going farther. Let’s look ahead.

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Childhood

As some of you may or may not have heard on the latest Bob and Andrew show podcast, I am thoroughly amused by childhood stories of trauma and upheaval. Mostly because these stories, when translated into adulthood, seem quite innocent and inconsequential. When Andrew told me the story if his pet bird Buddy dying during a family dinner I laughed heartily. Not because I enjoy small children crying, but rather because of the inherent naivety within the story. When you’re a kid everything seems so important. If an adult, especially a parent, makes a point of something, you latch onto it and herald it as some kind of important human gem that needs guarding and attention. I bet the young Menzies children held Buddy in just this kind of esteem.

They probably took turns feeding him and cleaning his cage, playing with him and talking to him. Buddy, being a bird, was oblivious to this of course and most likely spent his days wondering how long he’d have to spend as their captive. While the little Menzies were loving Buddy, he was scratching off the days on the wall of his cage and doing birdy chin ups. Regardless of the details, I think this situation with Buddy is the perfect metaphor for childhood. When you’re a kid you think the world is pure, orderly and important. The world however, is indifferent, chaotic and down right nasty. It’s only when events like Buddy’s death happen that you begin to learn about the true cruelty that lies beyond the playground.

I would like to recount for you now some of my most alarming and enlightening childhood traumas. Come along.

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Andrew as Leader 2: Squash the Uprising

Last week I outlined my plan to unite North America into a single nation, whimsically dubbed “Canmerico”.

I promised to legalize gay marriage, disband the navy, and publicly beat up Fred Phelps. Reactions were mixed.

Some argued that my strategies for gaining control of the government were in direct conflict to the freedom I wished to grant. Those people are jerks and should be ashamed of themselves.

Like any good dictator, I am back with a second wave. Below are further plans to maximize democracy and show the rest of the world how to rock the shit.

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The Excuse

featuring:
Sean Gilchrist as Marty
Charlotte Chanler as Lana
and
Andrew Menzies as Himself

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