A Tribute to Bush: Part One
Enough time has passed to allow the collective conscious to breath a sign of relief, to exhale on what has been a tumultuous eight years under the reign of the American leader who brought us into the twenty-first century: George Walker Bush.
President. Hawk. Boot-stomper.
Bush was many things: A thief. A liar. A war criminal. But apart from sending young men and women into the desert to die on a God damn lie, Bush accomplished many, many great things that will stay with the world until time stops.
Today, we take a look back at the legacy George W. Bush.
Tags: 9/11, Barack Obama, economy, George Bush, iraq, show throwing
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2009: A Harder Look Ahead
There is nothing finer a man can do than to rip off another man’s work so blatantly and without remorse.
Today I oblige by thieving from my cohort and often times partner in crime Bob Woolsey, whom several hours ago made bold predictions about the upcoming year of our Lord, 2009.
I was born February 16th, 1985, on the same pool table in Newark, N.J. where I was conceived. In grade four I got an award for a short story I wrote, mostly because I was the only child to submit theirs into the contest. I worked at McDonalds for two and a half years, never felt any real trauma or pain in my childhood, and graduated high school with mediocre grades and aspirations. Oh, and when I was three I fell down a flight of stairs and cut my chin on a vase. Nineteen years later I fell down a similar flight of stairs while stoned out of my mind looking for a vase to put stolen flowers in. I guess you could say my life has come full circle.
So it is with great accomplishments already behind me that I look forward to 2009 and the challenge of going farther. Further? Farther? Fuck. Let’s just look ahead.
Tags: Barack Obama, bob woolsey, bourne identity, david bowie, italians, male heir, marriage, monkey, newark, vase
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The Bob and Andrew Show: Obama Poops
This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew reflect on Barack Obama’s historic presidential win. They discuss the implications on race relations and policy reform. And for the second week in a row, Andrew makes reference to a child running head first into a boat motor.
Count how many times Bob and Andrew say “shit” this week. You’ll be surprised.
Click to play or download for your iPod.
Tags: Barack Obama, election 2008, sarah palin, toilet
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The Bob and Andrew Show: Road Rage and Racism
This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew reflect on Thanksgiving Day and it’s tradition of saying what you’re thankful for.
This leads Bob to consider things in life that he doesn’t understand, such as road rage, fighting, and racism.
Click to play or download for your iPod!
Tags: Barack Obama, blindness movie, head trauma, racism, road rage, thanksgiving
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The Bob and Andrew Show: Electioneering 2008
This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew discuss the elections taking place on both sides of the 49th Parallel.
Sparked by Andrew’s theory on what it should take to be a lawyer, Bob and Andrew run the gauntlet of today’s politico landscape.
Click to listen or download for your iPod.
Tags: Barack Obama, canada, Clinton, election 2008, George W. Bush, green party, hitler, jack layton, Joe Biden, John Kerry, John McCain, lawyers, NDP, Ohio, Old man, roman law, sarah palin, stephan dion, stephen harper, swift boat, USA election
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iTunes Genius: Andrew vs. The Machine
You may not be aware of Apple Computers, or Steve Jobs for that matter. So I’ll drop some knowledge before I drop the science: he’s the tight black-sweater, blue as blue can be jean wearing son of a bitch who runs Apple Computers.
Perhaps you’ve seen one the many Apple product addresses, where in Mr. Jobs will pull a new iPod out of his ever-decreasing-in-size pockets and a thousand people will orgasm in unison.
At the most recent Apple suck-fest, yes, new iPods were unveiled and yes they are sexy as hell and yes I would trade a testicle for one, but something else was introduced of particular interest to me: iTunes Genius.
More or less a playlist generator, Genius scans your library of music and based on dozens of factors (rhythm, beat, length, genre, level of involvement of Rick Rubin) it populates a list of songs “similar” to the one you selected. It’s great for making quick playlists if you’re in the mood for a particular type of music, or looking for new artists (with links to the iTunes store handy).
But enough suckin’ at the proverbial dink. We’ve got bigger problems.
Tags: American Sign Language, apple, Barack Obama, Billy Joel, BMW, Candle in the Wind, deaf people, Death Star, drowning, Elton John, fear, Ghetto, immortal technique, iPod, iTunes Genius, Jeff Buckley, Joe Biden, karoake, machines, Marcy Projects, metal, Mos Def, murder, music, Piano Man, popsicle, rap, Rick Rubin, rock, sack, scooter, star wars, steve jobs, suck-fest, Terminator 2, vaguely gay
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