Andrew as Leader 2: Squash the Uprising
Last week I outlined my plan to unite North America into a single nation, whimsically dubbed “Canmerico”.
I promised to legalize gay marriage, disband the navy, and publicly beat up Fred Phelps. Reactions were mixed.
Some argued that my strategies for gaining control of the government were in direct conflict to the freedom I wished to grant. Those people are jerks and should be ashamed of themselves.
Like any good dictator, I am back with a second wave. Below are further plans to maximize democracy and show the rest of the world how to rock the shit.
Tags: andrew menzies, bad religion, boobs, bush, canada, canmerico, cheney, coup, day care, facism, forceable action takent against dissenters, foreign police, hanged, hitler, kyoto accord, marx, mexico, NAFTA, nato, NORAD, politco, ponytail, rove, sputnik, stalin, steven segal, unite North America, USA, war crimes, war criminal
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Freedom Blog: A Tribute to A Decent Nation
America. The land of the free, the home of the Whopper. The country that brought us slavery, Rosie O’Donnell, and the Segway. What can I say about such a wonderful country?
I love America. I’ve been to America. It’s a confused, angsty teenage country that doesn’t give a fuck what mom says, he’s staying out past one and shooting down mailboxes with dad’s .22. It solves its problems by punching things, throwing tantrums and not worrying about the next morning. My kind of country! Argh!
Tomorrow is Independence Day. America will be 319 years old (a rough estimate). Now, I know things aren’t going so well for America right now (Bush, terrorism, no health care, unemployment, Katrina fallout, Iraq, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, several unsolved child murders, Iran, racism, the election, flooding, wildfires, Mitt Romney) but that doesn’t mean they deserve any less a special day to celebrate all the good the country as produced over the years.
Tags: All Blogs, america, andrew menzies, bush, Comedy, hot dog
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