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Andrew as Leader 2: Squash the Uprising

Last week I outlined my plan to unite North America into a single nation, whimsically dubbed “Canmerico”.

I promised to legalize gay marriage, disband the navy, and publicly beat up Fred Phelps. Reactions were mixed.

Some argued that my strategies for gaining control of the government were in direct conflict to the freedom I wished to grant. Those people are jerks and should be ashamed of themselves.

Like any good dictator, I am back with a second wave. Below are further plans to maximize democracy and show the rest of the world how to rock the shit.

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Andrew as Leader

While I am not an American citizen or even technically a Canadian citizen (off the grid, baby), I do fashion myself a politico-space monkey capable of making a decision or two.

And I’ve decided that it would be best for North America if all three countries folded into one nation, to be ruled over by a supreme power of unrelenting fear. Me.

I know the jargon. I have the swagger. I possess the gab. I can lead a nation. I will lead a nation. These nations!

So come with me, please, as I take you on a journey of the policies and practices I would implement as captain of the ship, leader of the band, Toucan of the Sam.

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The Bob and Andrew Show: Electioneering 2008

This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew discuss the elections taking place on both sides of the 49th Parallel.

Sparked by Andrew’s theory on what it should take to be a lawyer, Bob and Andrew run the gauntlet of today’s politico landscape.

Click to listen or download for your iPod.

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My Home and Native Land

I’m proud to be a Canadian. I’m very aware of the fact that I won a huge celestial lottery when I was born here. Universal health care, good beer, a moderate government, great comedians, good beer, no terrorism, no hurricanes or earth quakes, hockey, good beer. You can’t really complain if you live in Canada. Unless you’re homeless or something like that, but then that’s your own fault, get a job and stop holding the rest of us back.

As we all know July marks the beginning of Canada. We all get together and remember how the British beat the shit out of the French on the Plains of Abraham. How the Hudson Bay Company fur traders set up forts and outposts where they could feed the Aboriginal peoples fire water and sell them small pox blankets. Ah, the memories. Seriously though, Canada is a great place. We’re a simple people who love life, good times and snow. I thought I would take some time out to remind us of our part in keeping this nation great. So, here are a few guidlines to follow in our endeavour to be the best Canadians possible.

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