Created as part of the Laughing Stock 72 Hour Comedy Competition, Best Christmas Ever took home the awards for best director and best writing.

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
Stephen Lebail as Dan
and
Andrew Menzies as Hobo

That’s it for us this year. Thanks to everyone who has come by to watch a video, read a blog or listen to a podcast. We’ve got a lot more great stuff coming up in 2009. Stay tuned!

CHRISTMAS!

IT’S CHRISTMAS!

HOORAY!

Bob and Andrew discuss the holiday season, family traditions, gift giving, and all aroung joy.

Click to play or download for your iPod.

Directed by Nicholas Humphries

featuring:
April Green as Julie
and
Bob as Kevin

Jesus? No.

Family? No.

Good will towards men? No.

Christmas means one thing to me and one thing only:

Presents.

Whoever said it was better to give than to receive must have never gotten a good present in their life. Gifts are like love that you can touch. They warm your heart and possibly even your physical body in the case of an electric blanket.

So here is my Christmas list for this year. Think of it as Oprah’s favourite things episode except without me giving anything away.

First off, I would like say that I like technology. If I own enough gadgets I just know I could get my life in order and be more productive. It is for this reason that I want a computer for Christmas.

Many of my friends have changed over to Apple computers. They swear by them. I, however, am afraid of change. I abhor new things and the learning they force me to do. Give me old. Give me safe. Give me a 386 Packard Bell Legend and I will be just fine. A couple upgrades and that puppy will be playing with the big boys of Mac and Microsoft no problem. Nobody ever complained about Windows 95 like they do about Vista. Plus, I’ll still be able to play all my old floppy disc games that don’t work in fancy “new” computers.

What is Christmas if not fun? I mean that’s what getting stuff is all about, isn’t it? You’ve got to have things to play with on Christmas morning. It is for this reason that I want a Sega Genesis for Christmas.

Growing up all my friends had the latest gaming systems. I still remember when my cousin got a Nintendo for the Christmas of ’88. Boy was I jealous. Therefore when Sega came out with its gaming system, I knew I had to have it so I could one up my cousin. This year is the year my wish comes true, I can feel it.

Games I’d like for my Sega: American Gladiators, Street Fighter 2 and Star Trek: The Next Generation: Echos of the past.

As with most Christmases, this year I have a few toy requests. I’m always trying to expand my toys so that when my friends come over we can play. That is why this year, I want the Turtle Van.

This is of course the Van that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles use to get around and fight crime. I used to have a Turtle Van but it was given away by my mother.

Everyone knows that you have to have the proper accessories to your toys, otherwise they’re just no fun. Once I get my hands on the Turtle Van there will be no stopping my mini turtle action figures from stopping the evil foot clan and bringing justice to New York City.

Of course, with these toys, video games and computer on my list I’m going to need to get outside for some exercise. Winter is an especially fun time for this since you can play in the snow. That is why I absolutely need to get a GT Sno Racer this year.

The GT Sno Racer is the ultimate in sledding technology. With this machine at my control I will be undisputed champion of the sled hill. And with 50 goal scorer Brett Hull’s endorsement, this is also the coolest ride on the hill.

I can’t wait to carve into the powder and sail through the air on my high performance sled. It’s going to be glorious.

I hope you all have made up your Christmas lists for this year. Christmas is just over a week away and I’d hate to see anyone not get exactly what they want. You might get caught up on certain things and continue to want them throughout your life, whether they’re actually still available/appropriate or not. So make a list and be thorough.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Hello. I am Terry Joseph Wharburton. I produce The Bob & Andrew Show podcast here at bobandandrew.com.

Bob and Andrew have been nice enough to let me blog on the Internet this week. I hope you like what I have to say about Christmas time, my favorite time of the year.

First of all I’m going to say right now that this “Happy Holidays” bullshit has got to stop. It’s Christmas time, not holidays and fuck. If one more person says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” I’m going to punch them in the face and then take their wallet. Here is my guide to Christmas.

If even one of my ex-wives loved me enough to let me see my children, I would give them the best Christmas ever.

I grew up real poor, so I know what it’s like to have no cabbage or ricecakes at Christmas dinner. If I was lucky enough to get a gift it was usually something I already owned and Pops would just wrap it in newspaper. I got a shoe polish kit one year and made a bundle down at the gas station, until mother died an I had to pawn the stool for bus money.

Anyway I am fucking rambling. Here’s how you Christmas.

Get Tree

The best way to fuck up Christmas is to get a bad tree. If you have any scrote you’ll go into the woods and chop down a pine or a douglas fur or some other such conifer. However lots exist that will sell chumps pre-cut and wrapped trees for about sixty bucks. You can usually break in at night and take a few; security is lax.

All you gotta do is heff it into your truck and truck the bitch home.

Decorate the tree with tinsel and ornaments that remind you of better days.

Buy Shit

You gotta get gifts. I suggest going to the Dollar Store.

Twenty bucks usually does it, and you can often gets something nice for yourself.

Cause it’s the holidays and you gotta treat yourself.

Drink

Get fucking slammed on Christmas eve. Just go for it. Either alone or in a bar. I pref bar cause you have a better chance of getting laid at a bar. Though I suppose you could just stay home and jerk off and save cab fare, but Christmas is a time of giving and you sometimes just gotta give it to a whore.

My favorite drink is Canadian Club whiskey with Coke. Sometimes I go into a bar with my own flask and just order Cokes. They usually give them to you for free if you say you’re a designated driver. And, if you make friends easily, you can offer to drive a fellow drinker home. Drop him off and you’ve got a brand new car to use until the police come.

Do Family

I miss my ex-wife and my kids. I want nothing more than to be loved again. Ah, fuck my life.