Las Vegas: What They Don’t Want You To Know
Avid followers of this page will know that I recently took a trip to Las Vegas. Avid followers of my life will know that I am dirt broke. Hard to believe, I know. My image is the very model of wealth and class. However, I am indeed broke. This trip was funded by none other than Mr. Bob Woolsey Sr. and Mrs. Carol Woolsey – my lovely parents. They traveled to this Mecca of slot machines and show theatres a couple of years back and loved it so much they wanted to take my brother and I with them for the second go-round.
I have my sneaking suspicions that their true motives for taking us on this trip was their stinging feelings of guilt over never following up on their promise to take us to Disneyland when we were kids. To this day I experience a recurring dream wherein I get to meet Goofy only to have him remove his mask and reveal himself as the creepy, dirty traveling fair guy that used to stop in our little town every summer. It’s horrible.
There are a lot of things I wasn’t ready for in Las Vegas and I’d like to share them with you here. I know you probably think that a place so well documented in the movies and pop culture would be easy to prepare for. You’d be wrong and also a jerk for sand bagging me and my blog.
I will describe my experience for you. In doing so, I will outline what you need to know in order to enjoy Las Vegas to the maximum.
Tags: guide, las vegas, preparation, vacation, woolsey family
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Party Chat Procedure
The party chat is an art unto itself. When you’re at parties it’s a given fact that you’re going to end up talking to someone you barely know. Many times these people will be boring and idiotic. Other times they might actually be able to carry on a half decently intelligent conversation. Still other times, if you’re extremely lucky, you might run into a convicted fellon or a former drug runner – but these instances are rare. Most times though you’ll be stuck, screaming in your head for whoever you’re conversing with to “SHUT THE HELL UP!!!” or wondering if you have enough milk at home for your cereal in the morning. That’s where I come in. I have developed a strategy for dealing with just these kinds of encounters and I share this information with you now. Prepare to get wise.
Party Talk Strategy #1: Control the conversation.
There are a lot of pedantic jerks at parties. People are selfish. They like to talk about themselves, how they paint on weekends, how they’re writing a novel but just can’t seem to work up the courage to ’share’ themselves so intimately on the page or how they went rock climbing in Gibraltar on their trip to Asia. The first thing you have to do is lull them into a false sense of security by acting like you’re really interested in what they’re saying. Then start to drop comments into the conversation that will take it in a more interesting direction. When they mention how they like to start off with some cardio before they move into weight training at the gym say something like “Oh, tell me about it! My personal trainer, Linda, tries to get me to do that but we just always end up having sex in the change room.” Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, lying is key to good party conversation.
Tags: All Blogs, bob woolsey, chat, guide, party
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