Sure, we have fist-pounds, high-fives and various other hand movements that can mean a variety of different things at an any given time, in any given context. The sheer amount of variation in these hand motions make them inherently confusing. If you buy a house from a guy and he tries to high-five you it could mean anything. Yeah, maybe he’s just happy for you. But then again, maybe he just swindled you out of thousands and thousands of dollars. Who knows? The handshake however, is clear. The handshake is resolute. The handshake is steadfast.

Since the beginning of time, or at least since the Romans, we’ve been using the handshake to signify some kind of cooperation. It’s an acknowledgment of a new acquaintance, a finalization of a deal or a congratulatory gesture. In whatever form it takes, the handshake can be trusted as a traditional gauge of a person’s character.

Yes, much can be learned about a person by their handshake. When I turned 16 my Uncle asked my Dad if he had tested my handshake yet. You see, my Uncle was indeed a wise man and knew that the window into a person’s soul is through their palm. In fact, a person’s word is really only as good as their handshake. A poor handshake indicates a person is either untrustworthy or just a straight-up loser. Which leads to the main point of this article - proper handshake technique.

The first thing you want to figure out when giving a handshake is what you’re saying with said handshake. Quite often a handshake will denote an agreement of some sort. Therefore it is important to ask yourself, ‘what am I agreeing to?’ ‘Do I know this person well enough to be engaging in consetual sex with them?’ You want to make sure you’re handshake is not sending the wrong message, so don’t throw it out for just any old chump.

The second thing you want to do is make eye contact with the receiver of the handshake. This is important as it lets the handshake receiver know that you are serious about your handshake and that you are paying attention to their handshake.

Once you know what you’re saying with your handshake and eye contact has been established, place your hand fully into the palm of the other person’s hand and close firmly. Give one firm squeeze and a clear up then down motion. Release. Remember to maintain eye contact throughout the procedure. If there is more than one person present, repeat the movement as necessary.

Features of a poor handshake include: flaccid hand grip, gripping of the fingers only, using a second hand to support or cup the handshake, shaking too long and just general sloppiness of technique.

Among other things handshakes are great for:

1) Bribery – slip a little cash in there.
2) Establishing dominance – just squeeze till the other person is in tears.
3) Telling that Heart and Stroke Foundation joke – you slide the other person’s bottom knuckle back and forth with your fingers while shaking the joke reciever’s hand, thus simulating a heart beat as you ask them to support the Heart and Stroke Foundation.

So the next time someone comes at you with their hand up for a high-five or sticks out their fist for a pound, calmly extend your hand and say to them, “I prefer the handshake. Have a little respect for tradition!”