Since I was born on September 28th, 1983 I have steadily been progressing as a person. In the beginning I couldn’t even walk, talk or do basic calculations. But through hard work, a positive outlook and my unrelenting desire to better myself I slowly overcame the challenges of being a baby and am now a fully grown adult. There have been many milestones along the way, many occasions. I was named fire chief for a day in kindergarten, I came in second place in a speech contest in grade 1, I won a spot as a junior fire fighter for the forest service the summer after grade 12, just last year I finally buckled down and learned the guitar – I suck, but I have campfire skills, and more recently I was awarded along with one Andrew Menzies, the best Sitcom writing team award from the prestigious Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program in late 2005.

So it is with great accomplishments already behind me that I look forward to 2009 and the challenge of going farther. Let’s look ahead.

The first thing I would like to accomplish in 2009 is to get in shape. I’m not out of shape per se but I have had a hernia for the past 8 months that has hampered any kind of working out. Sure the hernia came from being out of shape and jumping back into full activity too abruptly, but this time is going to be different!

Secondly I’d like to read more. The new John Grisham looks interesting and I hear the book for Twilight is much better than the film so I might check that out.

Next year I’d like to learn how to cook some new things. As of the writing of this blog I am able to cook a handful of delicious meals that have gotten me through my time since leaving home. Among them: spaghetti, curry chicken casserole, tacos, dill chicken with pasta and stir fry. When I’m not cooking these things I usually subsist on Kraft Dinner or some kind of frozen food that I just have to heat in the oven. It’s time for an injection of a flavorful new dish. I’m thinking something ethnic.

In the coming year I’d also like to save my money more effectively. Up until now I have a life savings of approximately $-30,000. I’m hoping to turn that ship around. In the coming year, I will buy a plethora of lottery tickets.

I’d like to learn how to sail. I live so close to the ocean it should be pretty easy.

When I was kid I wanted to be an astronaut. I’ve decided that 2009 will be my year of not letting this dream die. In 2009 and will take the first step (One small step for the year, one giant leap for my dream) towards my space training. Since NASA has not accepted my solicitations for employment I will have to do it myself. My strategy is 3 fold: First I will memorize the periodic table of the elements, second I will get a summer pass to the PNE fair ground where I will ride the roller coaster however many times I have to before I stop puking mid-ride and thirdly, I will tie rocks to my shorts and walk along the bottom of the pool at the Y to simulate weightlessness. I predict success.

Another thing I’d like to do that I’ve been putting of for years is to get married. I’d like to settle down and start a family and I feel like 2009 is the year. I’ll be holding open auditions in late January or early February. Potential spouses please bring a resume and head shot.

Obviously this website which you are viewing right now is also a large part of my plans for 2009. Andrew and I have been pushing ourselves to be better writers every day. We’ve worked with some very talented people in the short history of this website and you can count on that tradition to continue. All except Stephen LeBail of course. He borrowed a crock pot from me and has refused to give it back, so he’s out. It was a very nice crock pot and I haven’t been able to make a decent roast since.

Other plans for bobandandrew.com in 2009:

- Purchase a helicopter with our accumulated wealth
- Fund a shark research program
- Give back to the kids
- Pay for the damage caused by a horrible helicopter crash
- Purchase helicopter pilot lessons
- Ask for a government bailout package

As it turns out, God has a beard and guitar. He sings of the common folk, of love and of heart ache. He tells stories and paints pictures of all the varied emotions we feel as human beings. Then he hangs out with Willie Nelson and John Prine while he collects royalty cheques for such hits as Sunday Morning Comin Down, Help Me Make it Through the Night, and the aforementioned Me and Bobby McGee. This guy is truly a living legend. If there were anyone in the world that I wish was my Dad (other than my real Dad, of course) it would be Kris Kristofferson. Sure, I would’ve had to put up with an alcoholic father who spent most of his time on the road but I would’ve also been calling Johnny Cash Uncle. The pros seriously outweigh the cons.

Lets start off by running down a little of this guy’s more impressive accomplishments. A man of great intelligence, Kristofferson was a Rhodes Scholar. He was a golden gloves boxer. The son of a United States General, he entered the army where he gained the rank of Captain. It was in the army that he became a helicopter pilot. Upon being offered tenure to teach at the illustrious West Point Military Academy, Kristofferson turned it down, moved to Nashville and became a janitor. It was there that he pitched many of his now legendary songs to the likes of Johnny Cash and other country superstars of the time. I think it goes without saying that this guy could kill you with his bare hands then turn around and sing a heartbreaking love song to your lifeless corpse. No small feat in my book.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the story of Kristofferson landing his helicopter on the front lawn of Johnny Cash’s house and handing him a demo of ‘Sunday Morning Comin’ Down’. Cash went on to record the song and thus began Kristofferson’s career as one of the greatest American songwriters of all time. He’s basically an action hero with a guitar. And a beard. He’s like a country singing Chuck Norris, but cooler.

Of course while all this was going on, Kristofferson also became an actor. He was good friends with the infamous Sam Peckinpah and acted for Peckinpah many times. He nailed Barbara Streisand in ‘A Star is Born‘ and even acted for a young Martin Scorsese in ‘Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore‘. What did I tell you? Cooler than Chuck Norris by far.

Now lets indulge in something of an academic exercise and analyze one of Kristofferson’s songs. There is no truer test for a poet than to have your words stand up to in-depth scrutiny. We will now shed light on the magnificent songwriting prowess that is Kris Kristofferson. We will delve into the man’s very soul to uncover truths about humanity and see if his words can stand the test of time.

For this exercise I have chosen ‘Sam’s Song’ from Kristofferson’s 1995 album A Moment of Forever.

SAM’S SONG by Kris Kristofferson

I have been with the best that the bastards could muster
From Danny the Dildo to Sidney the Snake
And I feel like a working girl pausing to wonder
Just how much screwin’ the spirit can take

Chorus:
I said, “Willie old buddy, please tell me again
The reason to keep goin’ on.”
He said, “There’s no harder words to say over a friend
Than they done you so righteously wrong
They stopped you from singing your song”

He was our hero, boys, he took the bullet
But he went down swingin’ his fist from the floor
You can ask any working girl south of the border
Sam Peckinpah era un hombre for sure

Chorus:
Willie old buddy please tell me again
The reason to keep goin’ on
He said, “There’s no harder words to say over a friend
Than they done you so righteously wrong
They stopped you from singin’ your song.”

But not me.

Analysis: KICK ASS!

See you in October Kris.