Things Hip Hop Music Has Taught Me
I like hip hop. Granted I wear a belt with my pants and despise uncurved baseball hats, but I do enjoy it when an MC steps to the mic like a phantom and drops lyrics that could skin a cat.
For years I was confused about the difference between “rap” and “hip hop”.
What are the fundamental anomalies? Is there a clear line between the two? Who is Funkmaster Flex?
I suppose I could have investigated the issue, perhaps asked around. Instead, I just made up my own mind and defined the rule as it stands to me. Because really, musical taste is a tricky bitch. We all like different things; a lot of people probably hate your favorite band and the sooner you understand that the better off you’ll be. So why now make up your facts?
This is my hypothesis: Rap is money/hoes/guns. Hip hop is about the beats and the musicianship. It’s soulful and poetic.
Hip hop is also about guidance, leadership and life lessons.
Tags: beastie boys, bob woolsey, eminem, eric b and rakim, George Bush, hip hop, immortal technique, jay z, ludacris, Mos Def, public enemy, rage against the machine, rap, rehab, run DMC, talib kweli, white kids
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iTunes Genius: Andrew vs. The Machine
You may not be aware of Apple Computers, or Steve Jobs for that matter. So I’ll drop some knowledge before I drop the science: he’s the tight black-sweater, blue as blue can be jean wearing son of a bitch who runs Apple Computers.
Perhaps you’ve seen one the many Apple product addresses, where in Mr. Jobs will pull a new iPod out of his ever-decreasing-in-size pockets and a thousand people will orgasm in unison.
At the most recent Apple suck-fest, yes, new iPods were unveiled and yes they are sexy as hell and yes I would trade a testicle for one, but something else was introduced of particular interest to me: iTunes Genius.
More or less a playlist generator, Genius scans your library of music and based on dozens of factors (rhythm, beat, length, genre, level of involvement of Rick Rubin) it populates a list of songs “similar” to the one you selected. It’s great for making quick playlists if you’re in the mood for a particular type of music, or looking for new artists (with links to the iTunes store handy).
But enough suckin’ at the proverbial dink. We’ve got bigger problems.
Tags: American Sign Language, apple, Barack Obama, Billy Joel, BMW, Candle in the Wind, deaf people, Death Star, drowning, Elton John, fear, Ghetto, immortal technique, iPod, iTunes Genius, Jeff Buckley, Joe Biden, karoake, machines, Marcy Projects, metal, Mos Def, murder, music, Piano Man, popsicle, rap, Rick Rubin, rock, sack, scooter, star wars, steve jobs, suck-fest, Terminator 2, vaguely gay
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Pigeon Technology II
If you remember the vicious flow I spewed several moons ago, good on you.
On vineyard land there’s a practice of shooting air cannons to scare away birds and other predators that might eat the wine berries. It appears Pigeon Technology has been adapted to the detriment of the homeless person yet again.
The bank nearby my place of business has a warm, spacious foyer in which many a hobo has taken the odd slumber. While the general bank is closed, it’s not uncommon to find, two, three, four, five or six hobos napping. Not once have any of them hassled me for money while I used the ATM, which is unfortunate, because I enjoying lying.
There have been no hobo sleepovers in my bank for the past month. Why? Because a constant, eardrum-crapping beep rings out during the bank’s off-hours.
Tags: andrew menzies, atm, bird, cardboard box, hobo, hobos, immortal technique, loitering, pigeon, pigeons, technology, teeangers
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