WEB LOG
This is truth: until sixteen days ago, I had no idea that the word “blog” was derived from the term “web log”.
This revelation threw me. I’m usually pretty tight with words and shit. I got straight B’s in high school English; obviously above average, but not too big for my britches.
Had I gotten all A’s I would be filled with too much confidence to even explore my grammatical shortcomings. (Of which, believe me, there are many.)
When I think of words that are fucking kick ass, I tend to think of things, as opposed to ideas. Democracy is a pretty good idea, but as a word? Lame.
Some words have a particular ring to them that’s just appealing, even if the object, idea or place they describe or represent is wholly disgusting. Examples: falcon, snot, microwave.
I could go on but I’d rather share these drawings I made.
Tags: All Blogs, animals, fire, horse, Jesus, ms paint, rabbit, turtle, web log
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How To Christmas by Terry Joseph Wharburton
A note from Bob & Andrew: Our podcast producer Terry has been bugging us for a long time to let him blog. We were convinced he couldn’t read, and were frankly astounded when he handed in legible notes with minimal cursing and drawings of graphic sex acts. So here, unedited and in its entirety, is Terry Joseph Wharburton’s Christmas blog. Enjoy.
Hello. I am Terry Joseph Wharburton. I produce The Bob & Andrew Show podcast here at bobandandrew.com.
Bob and Andrew have been nice enough to let me blog on the Internet this week. I hope you like what I have to say about Christmas time, my favorite time of the year.
First of all I’m going to say right now that this “Happy Holidays” bullshit has got to stop. It’s Christmas time, not holidays and fuck. If one more person says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” I’m going to punch them in the face and then take their wallet. Here is my guide to Christmas.
Tags: Christmas, Jesus, jewish, terry wharburton, tree
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The Bob and Andrew Show: A Star Wars Sex Talk
This week on The Bob & Andrew Show, Bob and Andrew discuss which wild animals would be the best to keep as pets, and Bob recounts his experience with the bible.
Things get a little blue when the topic of the Star Wars is brought up. Bob thinks Chewbacca might be gay. What does Andrew think? There’s only one way to find out…
Click play to listen or download for your iPod.
Tags: andrew menzies, bear, bible, bob woolsey, catholic, dave menzies, Gay, Jesus, marriage, pet, pigeon, sex talk, shark, star wars, swallow, terry wharburton, uncle mike
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Childhood
As some of you may or may not have heard on the latest Bob and Andrew show podcast, I am thoroughly amused by childhood stories of trauma and upheaval. Mostly because these stories, when translated into adulthood, seem quite innocent and inconsequential. When Andrew told me the story if his pet bird Buddy dying during a family dinner I laughed heartily. Not because I enjoy small children crying, but rather because of the inherent naivety within the story. When you’re a kid everything seems so important. If an adult, especially a parent, makes a point of something, you latch onto it and herald it as some kind of important human gem that needs guarding and attention. I bet the young Menzies children held Buddy in just this kind of esteem.
They probably took turns feeding him and cleaning his cage, playing with him and talking to him. Buddy, being a bird, was oblivious to this of course and most likely spent his days wondering how long he’d have to spend as their captive. While the little Menzies were loving Buddy, he was scratching off the days on the wall of his cage and doing birdy chin ups. Regardless of the details, I think this situation with Buddy is the perfect metaphor for childhood. When you’re a kid you think the world is pure, orderly and important. The world however, is indifferent, chaotic and down right nasty. It’s only when events like Buddy’s death happen that you begin to learn about the true cruelty that lies beyond the playground.
I would like to recount for you now some of my most alarming and enlightening childhood traumas. Come along.
Tags: andrew menzies, Buddy the Bird, childhood, Dolphins, elementary school, Jesus, Life Lessons, Mrs DeLougas, Mrs Lang, parkland, Pets, pinecrest, school, Steven Richardson
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