Conspiracy Theories: From Bunked to Debunked

andrew — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 11:54:24 +0000

For as long as there has been man and word, there has existed a need for truth.

A thirst for knowledge.

A hunger for… also knowledge.

Today I will debunk popular conspiracy theories. While I attest to professing little to no knowledge in a variety of subjects, I will attempt to beat off my detractors (heh!) by implementing a simple scale of one to ten that will determine the likelihood of truth in each theory.

Here is the scale:

The number “six” wouldn’t fit with the size and font I chose. Also, the colours are meaningless.

NEXT STOP: CONSPIRACY????????????

1. 9/11 was an inside job

Google “9/11 conspiracy”. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Holy shit, right?

There are millions of websites and even more theories, conspicuous photos and “evidence” from concerned amateurs. Everything from faux science about how steel melts or the free-fall speed of a building implosion, all spouted from the mouths of unprofessionals who desperately want to believe something complicated in place of something simple.

We’re raised in a culture of story. We’re so in tune with television and movies that we expect the truth to be just as dramatic as your standard Lifetime movie of the week. Reality, in this case, is not as satisfying as a work of fiction. The fact is that on September 11, 2001, hijackers took over four airplanes and caused irreparable loss of life at three crash sites. That’s what happened. To any 9/11 conspiracy theorist, I can only present this: the number of people that would be required to be “in” on the conspiracy is astronomical. However this blog has nothing to do with pragmatism.

Was 9/11 an inside job? GRAPH DECIDES

CONSPIRACY DEBUNKED

3. Kurt Cobain was murdered

I was nine years old when Kurt Cobain died. I didn’t listen to “Bleach” until I was seventeen. I enjoy Mr. Cobain’s music and it saddens me that he is dead and didn’t create more.You may think these musings are irrelevant. And you’d be correct.

Courtney Love is a crazy whore. I don’t put it past her to stay sober for six hours so that she could pay some pacific northwest Hell’s Angels six grand of upfront Hole money to blow away her better half (and truer words were never spoken) to gain control of one third Nirvana’s interests. That’s roughly how the conspiracy goes.

World – Cobain = Courtney Love gets the royalty checks.

POSSIBLE.

4. The JFK assassination was carried out by more than one man

True.

5. Lady Gaga has a penis

While evidence exists on both accounts, I am not about to turn bobandandrew.com into a pornographer’s playground.

But at least we know that lady/fellow can sing.

6. The world will end in 2012

I hope my simple graphs have helped you

The Boardroom pt2: JFK

bob — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 00:45:58 +0000

Somewhere in a very important boardroom, very important men make a very important decision about what to do with a very important person.

Starring:

Wade Fennig
Marcel Perro
Ryan Tapping
Alex Dafoe

The Bob and Andrew Show: Dinner with Anyone, Who’s Your Choice?

bob — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 10:31:53 +0000

In this episode Bob and Andrew discuss the screenplay of their lives. They argue over who would play them should it ever be produced, what the storyline would be and if they should take liberties to make it more exciting. Also discussed is the age old question: If you could have dinner with 4 people, dead or alive, who would you choose to break bread with?

Hit the little play button below to listen:

Or DOWNLOAD it and listen to it on you Ipod.

bobandandrew.com Web Comedy» JFK