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Kids: Pros and Cons

Children, I’m told, are our future.

They are the progeny of our race. As animals, some might say that it is Humankind’s sole purpose to create them and propagate our species. Others would say that we have moved beyond this basic savage need to a more enlightened sensibility. Either way, children are everywhere.

I’m sure you’ve seen them around. They are the portion of our populace that is between birth and puberty. They’re short, dim witted little things that are unusually cute and annoyingly loud. Don’t be fooled by these simpletons outward appearance, however. Although they possess welcoming, warm little faces with big eyes and pudgy cheeks they are burdens to society. You see, their underdeveloped brains and puny bodies make them unable to clothe, feed or sometimes even go to the bathroom by themselves.

All of this raises the question: why do we even have children in the first place? The joys of sexual intercourse, perhaps? But we’ve developed contraceptives so that we can still engage in a little nookie without risk of conceiving a child. On the other hand, there must be benefits to the challenging endeavor of rearing young. Surely people do it for a thought-out reason of some kind.

Let’s explore the pros and cons, shall we?

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What Christmas Means to Me

What does Christmas mean to me?

Jesus? No.

Family? No.

Good will towards men? No.

Christmas means one thing to me and one thing only:

Presents.

Whoever said it was better to give than to receive must have never gotten a good present in their life. Gifts are like love that you can touch. They warm your heart and possibly even your physical body in the case of an electric blanket.

So here is my Christmas list for this year. Think of it as Oprah’s favourite things episode except without me giving anything away.

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Kick in the Head

featuring:
Jamie Slade as Randy
and
Stephen LeBail as Jake

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