Dear Starbucks,

Several moons ago I made outlandish hate speech regarding the corporate coffee apparatus known by the proletariat as The Starbucks.

I suggested that Starbucks was inherently evil, due to its gross popularity, bean-business, and fashioning of a pseudo-elitist culture.

I may have over-stepped my bounds.

I would like to issue a formal apology on this Internet, and ask that Starbucks and its customers forgive my rash and thoughtless denouncement.

I am truly sorry.

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