Alcohol is a wonderful invention, possibly the highlight of the Roman empire.

Booze can do many wonderful things for you.

Examples:

1. Improve your vocabulary.

2. Improve your balance/agility.

3. Cause you to make friends with people you wouldn’t normally associate with (hobos, prostitutes, the elderly)

5. Sing loud karaoke songs

6. Dance when not appropriate.

I will use this soapbox forum to rate alcohol on a scale of one to ten.

Those of you unsure of your liquor may want to sit back and hold on to your chapeau.

Beer is delicious. I rate beer a ten out of ten. No picture needed. Next.

Whiskey can be both classy and the drink of the homeless.

It mixes well with everything from Coke to Pepsi, and comes in many shapely bottles.

Unknown fact number 82 about Whiskey: Bob Woolsey’s middle name is “Whiskey”.

I rate Whiskey a nine.

Some people don’t like Jagermeister. I think those people are assholes. Jager tastes like liquid liquorice. It’s candy that makes you want to fight.

And look at the logo.

How can you not look at that fucking deer and say “No thanks, I’ll stick with my red wine.”? You cannot.

Jager is an eight, only because the bottle is shaped like something that should hold Talcum powder.

Wine is for classy broads. And since you’re browsing bobandandrew.com, I know you are neither of those.

Wine is a five three seven two six fivesix five SIX out of ten.

It tastes gross, however, it can f you up.

So in conclusion and in summary.

Cheers.

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