It was with nothing but great pleasure that I sat with to watch This Is Our Youth at the Havana Theatre this week.

The play tells the story of Warren, who after stealing $15 000 from his criminal father, hides out at his friend Dennis’ house. Written by Kenneth Lonergan, This Is Our Youth is modern warhorse of a script, that- along with critical acclaim- has seen many big name actors tackle its meaty limbs of theme and emotion.  The current production features Sean Gilchrist, Andrew Baker, and Sydney Cochrane and is directed by none other than Robert James Woolsey.

It’s a period piece, in the sense that the play is so terrible your body will reject it and you will begin to bleed from your anus.

The acting was pleasing; passionate and a force. I enjoyed the venue’s accoutrement, ample parking and reasonably-priced soda. The direction, of course, was poor. Robert Woolsey once again boondoggles a modern piece of pop art and turns it into a soggy turd not fit for a even homeless person.

I have seen better direction on traffic signs held up by rotting wood in buckets of sand, placed in poorly-lit areas on the highway.

And I thought this was a play? Where was the music? The dancing? The homosexuality? I’m all for trying new things, testing boundaries and pushing genres, but when the basic tenets of a medium are blatantly ignored, well, the term “abortion” comes to mind.

Andrew Lloyd Webber would be spinning in his grave.

This Is Our Youth gets a rating of one margarita out of a possible four margaritas.

Bob’s been working like a young Malaysian slave-child the past few months, writing for this site, running sketch comedy shows for VFS, and working on the play. I’m really quite proud of him for not having a cocaine relapse. Bob Woolsey is the closest thing I have to a brother besides my actual brother, and it is for that reason in which the above review was farce and I give my full endorsement to him and his ventures.

Good job, Bob Woolsey.

How did you get to become such a serious artist, Bob? You may be thinking to yourself as you read this. Well, it wasn’t easy, I’ll tell you that. There were many long roads, twists and turns, winding paths, spiral staircases and just down right poorly designed freeways along the way. I’m a man of perseverance, taste and above all integrity. These are the qualities that have allowed me to survive as an artist against all odds. Here today I will outline for you my rise through the ranks of this business they call show in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else to stick to their dreams and never give up.

I was born by the railroad tracks. Down and out on the wrong side of town. We didn’t have much growing up. My mother looked after my brother and me while my dad worked his hands to the bone as a tradesman. It was a tough life but we made the best of it. My father was a hard man and instilled in me a drive to succeed. I had to work in order to earn my keep around the house and I did not disappoint. But I knew early on that my life had a different meaning. I had another drive deep within me that would not be quieted. A burning desire that could not be quelled. A dream that could not die. A destiny that would not cease until it had taken its course. A fate that was woven into the fabric of time long before I was even born. A plan that only a greater power could truly understand. A fabulous power that was revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said…

But I digress.

My point is that I was meant for art. I was more intelligent than most during school and my instructors encouraged me to great things. But I was bored with their tutelage. My mind was drawn to something that could not be taught. Something so vast and all-encompassing that the universe itself pales in comparison to its greatness. Something only the Greeks have ever come close to discovering. A secret so raw in its power that even I, the incomparable Bob Woolsey shakes in fear at the very mention of it. Something so ancient and sacred that only a deserved few have ever been able to harness it.

I’m speaking of course about the perfect artistic creation. A manifestation of pure originality. Among some of history’s greatest:

Hamlet
A Tale of Two Cities
Adventures in Babysitting
The Ninja Turtles
The Predator Series
Crash
The Dark Knight

Throughout my rise to the top I’ve encountered many naysayers. Many downtrodden would-be artists who gave into their lesser instincts and sold out to the highest bidder. But I kept my head high and looked toward the sky everyday. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll. So my advice to anyone out there who doubts themselves. Anyone out there who isn’t sure if they have it in them. Anyone who feels like they’re down for the count. Anyone behind the eight ball. Anyone struggling to stay true to themselves as artists. I say this: Keep on truckin’ because you never know.

Bob Woolsey out.

P.S. This Is Our Youth
Written by:
Kenneth Lonergan
Starring:
Andrew Baker as Warren
Sean Gilchrist as Dennis
Sydney Cochrane as Jessica

The Havana Theatre
1212 Commercial Drive
August 26 – 30
Doors at 6:30
Curtain at 7:00
Tickets $15