Zombies: Holy shit and other thoughts
In an age where Large Hadron Colliders and massive oil spills are the norm, the zombie uprising is a foregone conclusion.
You can pray to your God. You can stockpile all you want. But at the end of the day, there ain’t no insurance premium for the undead.
I’m pragmatic. I know this because I looked up the word. I’ve accepted that society is fragile. That our infrastructure is collapsing and that we, as humans, are doomed.
There’s nothing we can do now, expect pray. (And check our insurance premiums.)
There are six certainties that you must embrace during a zombie uprising. The sooner you make peace with your situation the sooner you’ll be able to develop a new-world marauder alter-ego complete with wardrobe, catch-phrase and small piece of your past that prevents you from getting close to another survivor.
Tags: apocalypse, armed robbery, beans, guns, jerks, jersey shore, money, rrsp, science, space, the zombies, zombies
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Ways the World Will End
I’m not going to lie: the world is going to end*.
If not today, then tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, then sometime in the distant future.
But today, I offer a jaunting reality check for those of you too lazy to accept this planet’s fate.
*Not be based on fact, rather years of pop culture consumption and irresponsibly speculation.
(The “YEAH” banner, usually reserved for positive posts, has been implemented to soften the blow of the truth that’s about to be revealed. I promise you, loyal readers, far fewer lies next time.)
Tags: 9/11, aliens, armageddon, asteroid, dawn of the dead, death, end of the world, mccain, obama, outbreak, palin, sarah palin, terminator, virus, zombies
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